A Tourette Poem
I feel the urge to move throughout my body
I hear the thoughts begin in my mind
“Just let it out, it will feel better”
“Do it again, that wasn’t right”
My body is something I should control
It’s something I shouldn’t be afraid of.
But, my power to control is lost
And I am forced to accept my battle.
I move in ways I never want to do
My eyes blink, my feet kick, my head flicks
My stomach tightens and my breath shortens
The tic feels complete at least for now.
The exhaustion sets in as the day ends,
But that doesn’t stop my body from moving
And I’ve lost all control.
Sometimes the day ends in tears
While I lie on the couch in frustration.
I close my eyes and take a breath
And hope for a better day tomorrow.
Not every day is like this
Some days are really great,
Without any movement but my own
I feel powerful and strong.
But, even on the bad days
Something tells me that I am stronger.
I am stronger than I think I am
and maybe I have a purpose.
The reason may not be clear now
But I know it will be someday.
My disorder is part of me
But I am so much more than that.